Monday, January 17, 2011

Tips for successful marriage, tips for happy married life, 10 tips to stay happy in marriage, tips to keep spouse happy, successful married life

Tips for successful marriage, tips for happy married life, 10 tips to stay happy in marriage, tips to keep spouse happy, successful married life

1 - Try not to let little insignificant things get in the way. Actions like leaving the top off the toothpaste or not taking out the trash can lead to arguments but when put into perspective they should not really be marriage threatening. These things can be worked around and the key to this is acceptance and toleration combined with communication and a little personal effort. (see step 8)

2 - Try and make any major decisions in your lives together as a couple. It can be extremely dis empowering if any major decision is made unilaterally by one of the couple. Decisions on things like purchasing a new car, schooling for the children, career / job changes or home decoration are the type of actions that are likely to cause damage to the trust and respect in your marriage. All of these kinds of decisions should be discussed so that neither of the partners begins to feel duped or dominated in any way

3 - Keep on top of your marriage. Take time out together every so often and get away for a few days. Some quality time together away from the every day distractions can re-kindle the love in a relationship. It will give you both time to put things into perspective again. You might even want to try a professionally organised couple's retreat.

4 - Start to date each other again. Going on dates can be really useful to any couple. Scheduling time on a regular basis to go out on a date and spend some quality time in each others company will help to maintain the excitement in your relationship.

5 - In every marriage there will be certain topics that you will never agree on. Don't be afraid to agree to disagree and move on. Accept the fact that there will be certain times where this is the necessary step.

6 - Try not to be afraid to step down and admit you are wrong. In every contention there is always a 'right answer' or the highest truth. At times you will need to let your ego subside a little in order to realise that your partner is actually right. If both partners are willing to do this then many blocked situations can be worked through.

7 - Sometimes the spark in a relationship is lost. A little passion can do wonders towards getting the spark back again. Remain passionate about your partner and watch the spark get rekindled.

8 - Do not try and change your partner. Your partner is who they are and if you are constantly trying to change who they are they will begin to feel that they are unwanted as they are. Accept your partner and have have them accept you.

Learn to resolve Clashes

After a keen study of life of a number of married couples, psychologists have figured out that the reason behind unsuccessful marriages is the inability to resolve the conflict.
You may have a notion that you know your partner more than anything yet there are certain matters upon which the opinions do not match. This often results in violence, abuses and depressions.

Successful couples keep communicating, whatever the bad feeling between them. They search out the differences between them and believe that love is not winning conversations but winning the situation. So, negotiate the disagreements and if sometimes your partner wants something different from you, give it a try and end up in a fair deal.

Talk Straight!!

Do not let any communication gap come between you and your spouse. Talking about things increases understanding. If you disagree with your partner’s views and this creates clashes, talk deeply and vent your heart out. It may take some time to resolve contentions but ultimately, you will definitely find a way out. Even after the wedding, you should keep talking about each others expectations. This brings a feeling of beingwanted which is the loveliest feeling on this earth.

Remember not to take your partner for granted!

Marriages gradually land up with a casual attitude. It is obvious that we forget little courtesies and certain important things like to give respect, to appreciate one another, to listen to each others opinion and to ask for an advice. These are certain things which might give immense pleasure to your spouse. If you keep each other at a centre stage, it can turn the tables around! You start enjoying life rather than just living a life. In short, if you don’t take your partner for granted and take interest in their life and problems. Take them seriously.

Don’t loose the lust!!
Successful couples keep the lust alive! This is a bitter truth that the desire of making love dips in the following years after marriage, especially after birth of the first child. But Successful couples stay affectionate. They make it a routine to kiss, hug and becoming sensuous most of the time. They make sure to understand the sexual needs of the partner and prioritize love making as this is the only time when you get to be with your partner in the busy life and work schedule. You should find new ways to please your partner as this will strengthen your bond with your spouse.

Grow with each other!

With the changing times, our personality also changes. The person we marry will not be the same after years of marriage. Same happens to the relation. The situations change and we have no other choice than to mould with them. We have to learn to accept the natural changes rather than demanding the same forever. This is where our understanding plays the game.

Changes occur at crunch times like parent ship, or at times when one looses a parent, or shift of responsibilities. Successful couples fill the empty space in the life of their spouse and remain by their side whenever they need them.

Keep your Discreteness!!

After tying the knot, almost everything is tied up with the partner. Initially, we enjoy that, but, gradually as the time passes, we get used to it. Moreover, the increased responsibilities of children, house work and job tensions brings frustrations to our life. When all this stuff starts, it’s the time to add spice to your life!

Just encourage each other to spend time in activities they would like to do. Cut the trapped feeling and give each other some space. Often couples thinks after marriage there’s no concept of ‘me’ everything has to be ‘us’. But this is a big misnomer. Individual space is always required. This brings liveliness to the relation and life.

Keep working on the relation!
After being married for a long time, you may not become complacent of your smooth married life and feel that there is nothing which can harm our bond. Be cautious!! The relation of marriage is very sensitive and any minorany false perceptions can be dangerous. May be your partner doesn’t feel the same. So, keep talking to each other on your relation and your needs from the partner. Make sure that you both are happy and what all you want together from each other.

To sum up, the anticipation should not die. Just be a support to your partner. Fix the clashes before they become problems and don’t feel shy to talk and discuss out all that goes inside you.

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